How many times have you looked in the mirror and seen something you don’t like? I have lost count of the amount of times I have found something I don't like when I look in the mirror. It happens to the best of us, we get caught up in what we ‘should’ look like. Thighs are too flabby and too big, hair is too straight, feet are too big, boobs are too small… the list could go on, and for many of us that is all we focus on....everything we "don't like" or "hate" about ourselves which destroys our confidence and stops us from achieving more and reaching for more.
The question is, are you loving who you are and ready to further improve yourself, or are you getting caught in the old “I’ll be happy when i've…”?
“I’ll be happy when I weigh only X kg”,
“I’ll be happy when I get a boob job”,
I’ll be happy when I have this or that done”.
The truth is that happiness isn’t a place, person, operation, destination or weight goal. Happiness is a feeling, and it’s entirely within our control as to if, and when, we feel it or not. The challenge we face especially as women is that we're always searching for something externally to make us feel good rather than finding it within.
I know this, because I spent most of my life not liking what I saw in the mirror and constantly used to think, if only I weighed less then people would like me more....that was a big one for me. If only I didn't have a scouse accent people would take me more seriously, if only I had.....[what's your if only???]
The thing is, I was overweight throughout my teens and bullied for being fat, spotty and ugly and as a result struggled to make friends. This had a massive impact on my confidence and stayed with me as a result right into my adult life.
I would wake up and get out of bed and stare in the mirror and pick at everything that I hated about myself...EVERY SINGLE DAY! That mean voice was well and truly in control of my thoughts and was so good at making me feel so small that I just wanted to hide away from the world. And do you know what this did? It trained my brain to find even more things that I thought were wrong with me. Where focus goes, everything grows. Which meant the more I focused on the negative the more negative I became. The more miserable I became and the less confidence I had. It was only when I realised what I was doing a few years ago....yes...it took me until I was in my mid-late 30s to realise when it hit me massively....it was like an epiphany....I became aware of how I was destroying my chances of success in all areas of my life and when I became self aware of it, I decided I had to look to change it otherwise it would dictate the rest of my life. This is where personal development and investing in myself comes in.
So threw myself into reading more about building confidence, listening to podcasts and attending seminars and trainings and researching techniques to help me change my mindset. It was at that point that everything started to shift.
Fast forward to today, and I am so much more confident and happier in my skin and when I look in the mirror I don't hate what I see anymore. I have a new lease of life. I am bursting with confidence and not afraid to go for my goals and dreams even if I have no idea in practice how i'm going to get there. I have such a strong motivation not to settle (as I had been for such a long time) and to reach for more that I feel I have a purpose in life. Which makes me so happy.
This has reflected in how I am with my family and my friends and how I support my clients on their journey too.
I had a major awakening and it feels like the weights have been lifted off my shoulders, the shackles that were once there are no longer holding me back and the woman in the mirror has a purpose.
So if you are finding you are currently the Woman In The Mirror, negative and unmotivated, then it's now time to say "No, more!" It's now time to start investing in your mind and personal development and working on a plan to get you out of the rut you are in. where I used to be then here is a technique I want you to start doing.
Every morning when you wake up, I want you to look in the mirror and find three things that you love about yourself and say it out loud. I have beautiful eyes, I love my ears, I have amazing legs. I then want you to write down three things that you are grateful for in your life every single day and it can't be the same thing each day. For example, I am so grateful I have a beautiful garden, I'm so grateful I have both legs that work. I'm so grateful to have hot water whenever I want it.
And do this every single day from now on.
Training our brain to think differently is key if we want to grow and develop and reach for more in our lives.
Today I am happy, healthy and loving who I am. And for the purpose of being totally real.....I’m still human though, I do still have bad days especially around the time of the month, and I still have an ‘ideal weight’ that I’d like to get to… but it doesn’t dictate my life and I love myself regardless… squishy bits, big thighs and all. But what it doesn't do is stop me from reaching for more and going for my goals, and neither should you.
If you're ready to start working on yourself so you can reach for more then check out and join my Free FB Group Women Rising Up & Ready For More and let's get to work on our goals together.
That woman in the mirror is amazing and so ready for more!